Recordings at a Studio

Our girls were asked to come and record some of their music at a studio!! They played in my parent's ward and the Bishop of the ward is Barry Gibbons. He has done several music recordings over the years and has been involved with such films as The Other Side of Heaven and Work and the Glory. It was such a fun and good experience and he was so impressed with their talent and their music. He commented that their music is some of the best most heartfelt music he has heard. He was blown away with Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing and admited it was the best version he had heard. He expects great things of them. He is having them come back today for a photo shoot to finalize the CD he is making of them. We are so thankful for this experience and the girls enjoyed hearing themselves recorded.

This is it...

Even though Trevor's last job didn't work out and he had to resign (for reasons aforementioned)It was a blessing. Because while Trevor was working one of his former coworkers became the chief pilot for Maverick Tours (Vegas and Grand Canyon). It was impossible to get a job through them and his trip to Vegas in January evidently became futile. So when Trevor became aware of the instability of his job he called his friend and asked for advice. His friend told him that he was just taking over as Chief pilot and would see what he could do, but Trevor needed to be at 1500 hours or he couldn't help him. Towards the end of Trevor's hitch he got an invitation for an interview. That last week on hitch was especially foggy and bad weather. He wasn't able to get the hours anticipated. He called his friend a few days before the interview and said, "I only have 1498, do you want me to go and buy more hours?" His friend told him, "No, thanks for being honest." That is just the way Trevor is. It was extremely difficult for Trevor to have had to resign. He hates being a flake and structures his life around dependability. He is a good man. Anyway, we are leaving for Flagstaff Arizona (We'll be staying in Williams extremely small town) next week. Even tough it is a seasonal job it will help him build his hours so that in six months he can pick a job after that. He will finally be at his hours. I am considering this job and our stay in Arizona as an extended holiday where there are mountains, pines, lakes, bike trails and all the fishing the boys could want. It will be an adventure and I am thankful there is beauty-green beauty. The pictures are below...

Finally the end products!

Here they are, well most of them anyway. Jessica and MaKayla painted some tiles but I haven't photographed them. I am not sure that we have them back as they were displayed by their art teacher in an art show. But here is a sample of some of the work we have been doing.

this one was done by Grandma. This is a sample of majolica.
This is Justin's "perfect" little bowl as mentioned in an earlier post. He had no help or instruction. He just surprised grandma with this one.
This is the glaze he chose. Pretty cute glazing.
Justin threw this bowl
Alexis threw and carved these two jars.
Alexis designed this Egyptian plate. She has always loved Egypt and its history.
This plate by Alexis was from "Snip Snap and Snur" We love these stories from 1930's Sweden. We love the 3 girls and 3 boys in these classic stories.
Alexis made this "Flicka Dicka Ricka" plate from the stories

MaKayla painted this Peter Rabbit Majolica plate

MaKayla inspired me to do some Tiles that I can frame myself of Peter Rabbit. I love these classic stories, well all classic children's literature for that matter.
These came natural and were so fun to me.
I loved going into my mind and being creative. I could really get into this.
This one was harder because of all the details. But fun anyway.
I can't wait to do some more.

Once again, up in the air

For some of you may be wondering what our plans are? I currently question that myself. Okay, so Trevor got rehired by the same company that laid him off. We had heard that only 5 out of the 40 got asked to come back and Trevor was one of them. They have been in business for quite awhile, surely they have straightened up their mess right? We accepted the job, because it was the only solid offer he currently had, why turn it down?! So he accepted to start with them (of which he has been working for nearly 3 weeks) I went down with Trevor to Houston area to check out homes (great time to buy and rent there is horrific). Geographically everything made sense. The LDS temple was close. The Bush Intercontinental airport was close. There were plenty ward members and houses and last but not least my children were invited to study with Mr. Zachary Carrettin at Rice University.
I was so excited for this. This guy is friends with their former teacher William Fedkenheur of the Fry Street quartet
Zachary is quite an accomplished violinist and now is mastering as a violist. He would have made an excellent music mentor for Alexis and MaKayla. With this gentleman's bio and his fame even on wikipedia, I was honored and ecstatic to say the least. He was even going to help hook me up with a coworker to have Jessica study cello with. And he happens to be married to a concert pianist. She was going to open a studio of 5 students, Justin being one of them. I was thrilled. Could it work out more perfectly? Providentially? What an opportunity for the kids to be around so much.
Everything made sense to move to Houston. Before we knew any different we went down there looked at several homes and neighborhoods and were quite impressed at the magnificent homes for as inexpensive as they were. Southern mansions and impeccable neighborhoods. I was shocked for Texas. But why didn't it feel warm and fuzzy? Why couldn't we know if it was right and feel that?
So he starts with them and little by little finds out more and more of what is going on with this company.
1.) Trevor was the second guy to accept coming back with nobody else would. They asked all forty.
2.)There is something wrong with his aircraft every time he gets in it. It is nerve wracking to be in the middle of the ocean and have your GPS die, find an oil leak and have things half put together like some patch job. One of his coworkers went through 6 aircraft before he finally found one he felt was safe to fly. All others had things breaking on them.
3.) They are short on pilots, many are quiting.
4.) Trevor's area manager pulled all the guys in from that area for a safety meeting and afterwards told them all to get their resumes out because the company is not doing well. He told them to get their hours and get out of the company as soon as possible.
5.)The chief pilot quit and went somewhere else.
6.)It appears they're being bought over and there is speculation that everything will be liquidated and the company will dissolve.

Back in June of 2010 when he went to work for the company he was employed for three months. I went to work on the house and packing and did a lot of it without Trevor. 8 days after we had our home listed we got an offer. And when I moved out and transitioned into Trevor's parent's house he got laid off, 3 months later. We were on our way out. So close. Now this. It's still not safe to move on. I can only keep faith that God has not forgotten us. I know, there are worse things in the world than our situation and many more people who are in dire need.
We have a proposition in Arizona (yuck, but grateful nonetheless) and a prospect in Virginia (which I would love. Home schooler's dream with all the history). When Trevor got into this career it was not like this. Now with the economy it's hard to find a job. He is 400 hours away from having any job he could want. If he stays where he is at, he may get laid off again if the company goes under. Or worse, he may be at risk everyday with their poor maintenance. If he goes in the ocean, he risks hypothermia and he risks sharks. Can somebody find him before that happens? Maybe that is a negative way of thinking, but it's his reality and he is not comfortable with this company. In one way, it's a blessing he got rehired. He is current with a job, which always looks better and he has got 50+ more hours so that he qualified for those other two prospects. So, for now I keep breathing because the sun will rise and who knows what the tide will bring. But whatever happens our kids are our priority. There is so much I want for them with music, education and quality friendships. I plead with the Lord to make a way, for their sakes. They are his children, I have faith he will.

Whew!

For the last few months I have experienced and been challenged with several health ailments regarding my children.

Alexis experienced a condition of the blood that was rather scary and I had to use my mother's intuition to remedy her case. Regardless of what everyone around me was saying. She was sickly for a while and it was very stressful. It was humbling and gratifying that the very place I found answers for her was exactly where the spirit was guiding me. She is fine now and on the mend.

MaKayla for the last 18 months has experienced random and strange allergy symptoms of which she had none prior. Again, I followed my gut on this one and without traditional masking medication she was able to get customized treatment and has experienced natural and healing relief within a couple of days. She is also scheduled to get braces as soon as we settle.

Jessica has come down with an OCD behavior. She seems like a perfect child always eats healthy. Keeps herself clean. Goes to bed on time. Doesn't like tv or video games. Seems perfect right? Well, not quite. She is afraid to eat and not worry. She worries about everything else listed above. She washes her hands until they crack and bleed and will often times make herself a salad for lunch if everyone is having something of less quality. She has a melt down if she goes to bed later than she thinks she should. This need to be perfect affects her schooling and music, of which she is quite gifted. I have her scheduled to see a dear mentor friend of mine who has a gift with hypnotherapy. I am excited for the results. This child went from being so messy to immaculate within a few years. Jessica also had to get glasses. I am currently working to help strengthen her eyes so that they may heal and she wont have the need. I have combined the herbs eye bright and bilberry concentrate.


Justin, what can I say...he checked out perfect with the dentist. How can that be? He is my worst eater. But hey, I am not asking for cavities. I just don't understand why a child like Jessica who eats healthy is susceptible to cavities and seems to be riddled with them. While Justin on the other hand I have to constantly encourage, "eat your vegetables son. It's important to learn to eat well."

Brett- I am concerned for. He went to the local speech therapist of which she said his hearing is fine and that he didn't qualify for therapy. Really? His speech is not improving a whole lot and I worry about it. I may take him into a ENT specialist and get a second opinion of which the speech therapist recommended. Maybe there is something physically going on with him. He does have a scruffy sounding voice. He had two cavities at the dentist. The other concern I have for him is he is SO skinny. He eats a ton, but he is thin.

Joseph-He had three cavities at the dentist and has been quite a pill since we have been at Grandparent's. I believe he is expressing himself and his confusion for the situation.

Anybody else in line? It's never boring with a large family and you always wonder what is next with children.

Missing

I am missing my love for 17.5 days he will be gone on his shift

Pottery

Among the many things that have been hard the last several months, or even the last year, I can find the good. Because there has been quite a bit of blessings as well. My mother-in-law is a master of pottery. She does all styles and even paints majolica. This dates back to early Persia and later mastered by the Italians during the Renaissance period. Along with teaching the children how to throw on the wheel she has been teaching them the art of majolica. I have a few pictures of them throwing on the wheel of which I will post now and later I will post the finished products. It is highly beneficial to have wise and talented grandparents around.
MaKayla is throwing a bowl.
Grandma showing the way
Alexis throwing after observing MaKayla. She picked up on it quickly.
Justin is having fun this time with the molds. He got on the wheel by himself, without instruction and threw a perfect bowl, surprising us all. I will post that cute little bowl later with the rest of the finished products.

Here's Brett enjoying high quality "playdough". He doesn't care about the wheel. But he is so smart. He knew that when Grandma is throwing or carving on the clay he can do pottery with her. If she is painting majolica, he can't do pottery that day. He said to her one day, "Grandma, you are acting like a teenager. You know how? Because you always tell me I can't do pottery with you. Teenagers are the same way, they never want to be with you and always tell you no." It was later after much thought that he thought through when he can do pottery and when he can't. Lately, Grandma has been painting a lot.
Little Joseph
Pictures of the finished products SOON

Motherhood, my calling

As I have been reflecting on motherhood, mine in particular, I decided upon posting my thoughts. I of course, am not a perfect mother. There have been times I could almost feel heaven on earth during the work that was before me. Pure bliss, sweet joy and peace beyond description. It is in these moments that I have felt this that my will was perfectly aligned with what God would have me do as a mother. And in this space I feel like I could conquer anything, for God is on my side. Who could fail at an attempt to rear children when you have a GOD, on your side and it is his children in which he trusts you with. Why would he not come to aid?

And there have been times such as now, that I have never felt so detached, lost and out of my element. Perhaps this is what motherhood is. It has its ups and downs, its sorrow and joy. At times I feel I have been entrusted with more than I can bear. It's been difficult to not have a home to call my own domain. It's been hard to have more than one mother amongst me. It's been especially challenging to feel that me, the unwise, inexperienced mother can not be all that they need me to be and to find myself in a sense losing them. Alexis, of whom is nearly 14 is breaking away from me. It's natural I am told, but devastating nonetheless. And even more so at a time when I am not myself and feel broken. It doesn't matter how many children you have. Sure, the more you have the more you can be challenged with, but think of the growth and strengthening that can happen. Having only 1 or 2 does not make you immune to problems with child raising. This life is about learning and growth and some how or other against our desires, that will happen. Life is the teacher and nothing teaches us better then when we are faced with challenges that involve what we love most, our children.

It's no secret that the adversary would seize the opportunity to ruin me and convince me that I cannot do what I have been called to do. It's no surprise he would attempt this at a time when a mother is at her lowest. Temptation comes in various places and sometimes from the most hurtful and unexpected sources.
I have been told several times that I should only have had 2 children, that I am dumb for having more than 2 and even compared to the "old woman who lived in a shoe"(but only from 1 and the same source each time)

It is most difficult to be kicked when you are down, naturally. Do I regret my children? Absolutely not. Perhaps it is inconceivable to some that a mother with 6 children could love all of them as much a mother with only one or two. Maybe there is reason for saying those things, for I am not the mother I once was. And just because I didn't get my tubes tied, does not mean that I chose to have six children. Sometimes you are asked to do things in God's wisdom. It's at times like this that I have had to trust him. I love all of my children more than my own life. I can be an incredible mother, I realize that now since my life has been altered. And one day I WILL turn this arduous experience into a strength. One day I will resume my position with confidence and dignity. And soon, I will post details of our plans for Trevor's new job, out of state and where, soon.

Wahoooo!!

We're outta here! Trevor got a helicopter job, details to come later
(thanks for the tips anonymous, even though we never called him. Who are you?)


I love this artwork, so I posted them just for fun

I am not a perfect person. I have perfect ideals, but I am NOT perfect. In fact, I think I am the lowest I have ever been. I often find myself questioning a lot of things, frighteningly even my testimony. I suppose that is all apart of growth and learning in this life and one day all my questions will turn into strengths and I can then help encourage and influence someone else who struggles with the same things I overcame.

So what happens to me eternally if I don't forgive myself for things, shortcomings or am too hard on myself?

This is hard for me to admit this one; but if God is agency then why do we have to follow his plan or be miserable forever?

What if I never wanted to exist? But I am here.

If God is indeed in charge and knows what is best for us and we have to hope to follow his promptings (which I deem is very confusing and feels very much like guess work)What is the difference between going with the flow (predestined) and agency.
I know the answer to this, but sometimes the line is very thin and blurry.

These are negative, and for journal purposes I am documenting my angelic and demonic feelings and questions. I feel a a pull for my very soul. For Satan would have me. Yet, there have been times in my life where God has stepped in and rescued me from my own stupidity. Many times, Trevor was his means in doing so.

It's not a matter of if God exists for me. I know Christ very well, I always have. For some people a matter of the gospel and our church is Joseph Smith. I should quote from Roald Dahl's Charlie and the factory:


"Listen, I'm an old man. I'm much older than you think. I can't go on for ever. I've got no children of my own, no family at all. So who is going to run the factory when I get too old to do it myself? Someone's got to keep it going - if only for the sake of the Oompa-Loompas. Mind you, there are thousands of clever men who would give anything for the chance to come in and take over from me, but I don't want that sort of person. I don't want a grown-up person at all. A grown-up won't listen to me; he won't learn. He will try to do things his own way and not mine. So I have to have a child. I want a good sensible loving child, one to whom I can tell all my most precious sweet-making secrets - while I am still alive."

This is perfect and understandable in a book or major motion picture and people readily accept it. People accept Samuel the boy prophet. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. So why not a boy prophet and continued revelation and scripture in our day?

See, I know these things and I am very spiritually minded. However, that does not mean that I don't struggle. In this new year, I hope to receive my own peace and answers in regards to these questions and further the strengthening of my own testimony...what else can I do?

"Thank God, O women, for the quietude of your home, and that you are queen in it. Men come at eventide to the home; but all day long you are there , beautifying it, sanctifying it, adorning it, blessing it. Better be there than wear a queen's coronet. Better be there than carry the purse of a princess. It may be a very humble home. There may be no carpet on the floor. There may be no pictures on the wall. There may be no silks in the wardrobe; but, by your faith in God, and your cheerful demeanor, you may garniture that place with more splendor than the upholsterer's hand ever kindled."

---Reverend T. DeWitt Talmage, D.D

Keep breathing...for tomorrow the sun will rise.

I recently reviewed a scene from "Castaway". I have always loved that movie. But there was one part in particular that brought tears to my eyes. It's after he had been rescued and he is talking with his friend about his experience. About how everything he had survived for was no longer an option and his only choice now is to "keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise and who knows what the tide will bring."

When Trevor and I first heard about his job layoff it was as if our world suddenly stopped and the dream was gone. We had never felt so powerless coupled with nothingness. In the Book of Mormon it talks about how we are but the dust of the earth, and we owe God for everything we have and all HE has blessed us with. Instantly we were completely dependant on family. We had nothing, save each other. We didn't even have options we just had to submit. We had to have permission for what we wanted to do or to ask for anything we needed. It felt so degrading. To take two people who are so independent and hardworking and make them rely on someone for their very life-it's humbling to say the least.

But with the new year we just have to keep trying because the sun will rise and who knows what the tide will bring. God is in charge and our life is his. There just may be that anticipated job offer that we have so earnestly been working for....