Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Surreal


I have to say that when it is 75 degrees outside, kids in shorts, family walking to the park and just basking in the sun it all feels a little surreal. Sure I know it will hit me in the summer when the warm weather catches up and its 115 outside. But for now, I am enjoying all the vitamin D. But I have to remind myself that Christmas is in 38 days and It feels as if I should be planting in my garden. I like it though...no complaints from me. Perhaps I am waiting for it all to disappear and fail on us like so many other plans. (Louisiana, Houston, New York) Maybe I am afraid to settle for fear of getting attached and losing it all. (Like moving away from Williams Arizona.) So I am numb. I asked a few transplants if they had a hard time getting used to Vegas, one Massachusetts sister replied, "oh yes! It takes about 2 years." She then proceeded to say you can grow about anything here. I'd like to try. Seriously.
For every move, there is a gain and a loss. I have gained the no snow, warm winters and longer growing season. I have gained the cheaper house price and the better paying job.
But at the same time I have lost my some dear friends the Jenkins, Kupiecs and the Hancocks. Nobody every replaces people...not when they have seen you through so much. I miss them. I have lost my honey factory, raw milk, heritage center, green mountains and large garden.
And some things are the same...the temple is close, Seminary is close, a lot of church members and I have my basic family unit to hold, cherish and nurture. There is a great homeschool organization that honors the Thomas Jefferson Education principles. I knew we'd be okay when I learned of it's thriving influence here.
Life never turns out the way you expect it. Sometimes you find yourself questioning the very ground you stand on. But here I am, adjusting. It's not easy moving three times in one year and going from one expectation to the next in your planning. I feel as if I have lived all over from Utah to Arizona and down to Louisiana and Texas and over to New York only to retrace our steps and settle in Las Vegas all in one year. It's been a roller coaster. But I am thankful for the year round great salary job and the church, temple and Seminary (of which Alexis is devouring every minute of it). I once again find the good in where I am at. But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't confess that it's been rather difficult. My life to me is not about the money, the new home in a cookie cutter neighborhood. A woman identifies with her home-it's where her heart is. I would be entirely and completely satisfied in a little cottage surrounded by my gardens. Simple that's me. I would take a quaint and charming home any day over a new and modern one. Looking over the vast and endless packed subdivisions I feel as if I am in Mexico with all the tiled roofs, palm trees and spanish style everywhere. Everything here is so different from what I imagined for my children. It just simply is an adjustment and sometimes that is a matter of time.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Good to read an update from you. Glad that there are some good points to be found and focused on. I, too, would prefer a quaint spot vs. a cookie-cutter development...but, I hope time will continue to show you the good in the new area and perhaps bring out some wonderful friends in your neighborhood.
Enjoy the warm weather (we're piling on coats to fight the snow). And, enjoy the upcoming holiday season! Best Wishes to you.