The other night amidst bedtime and evening exhaustion from long hot and busy days I was feeling unsurprisingly overwhelmed. Trevor was trying to get the computer unfrozen and while he was waiting I grabbed him and said, "hey, let's go jump on the tramp." He looked at me and didn't know if I was okay or not but took me up on it. (I have been known to have forgotten how to have fun) We giggled in the dark as he bounced me clearly higher than I was bouncing him. Then we just laid on the tramp and looked at the moonlit sky. It was a simple beauty really. The heavens are such a wonder when you take the time to just look at them-kind of like smelling the roses. I am ashamed to say that I haven't done it in a long time. We just cuddled and pretty soon Trevor was making out faces of the clouds in the night time sky. He found a melancholy lady-Jesus with a crown on his head and some sort of an ogre...the kind he would carve in a pumpkin face. It was so healing for me to just relax and have simple fun.
I haven't posted about our current events for fear of shattering all hope. He did get an interview out of our New Orleans trip. They told him to plan on starting the next day and that they "look forward to having him on board" It's such a blessing in this unstable economy. I am so thankful to have this job, we have worked so hard for it. Yet I am afraid to say I have been less then a lady about being patient. I was reading scriptures with the children tonight 3 Nephi Chapter 13 has a sermon from Christ during his visit to the America's he said, "Be not ye therefore like unto them, for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him. Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is there will your heart be also. Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"
In this economy and with Trevor's unpredictable and unsteady income the last few years have tested my faith-our faith many times. It's easy to give into despair however, a scripture comes to mind "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
All too often I have chosen or given into despair when God needed me to trust him. I am not sure why we were blessed with a job and I do feel undeserving. But I am grateful. As Trevor kept saying, "for some reason the Lord has always blessed us." I must do better and choose faith. "For behold I am God. And I am a God of miracles...and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith" 2 Nephi 27:23