From Little girl to Young Woman

So...Alexis flew off on the other side of the world today. Not a big deal right? Well, I think my little girl is growing up and this journey of hers will only cement that reality. I feel as if I have said good bye to a my little girl and in exchange what I will get when she comes back is a young lady. She will grow up so much from this trip. A fact I have tried to hide from. How fast time flies. One moment you are holding their chubby little hands and looking into those deep and trusting eyes; and the next minute you are letting go of those hands while those eyes look on. One can only hope that you have taught them well and that those eyes will not wonder too far. Of course now more than ever I need to be the woman worthy of inspiring her. And more than often I feel unequal to the task. So now is the time where my knees will be knelt upon, that I may be guided in how to assist her through her journey into Young Womanhood.

"Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even
though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to
develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which
we endure help us in our marching onward."

Henry Ford

"One of the Least of these"

I made a hasty decision the other day. Perhaps it was because of my current studies with Alexis. In my mind suffering and poverty are very fresh. I feel like I have been to Cambodia and seen the suffering that I want to end. But I took a cousin some groceries and hand me downs that my children grew out of. I have been around her children a few times and seen their faces. There is a grave look in the eyes, something that expresses poverty. Her husband had some finances cut and I knew they were struggling. Upon arriving to their home She had prepared her children a potato for dinner. No, not a baked potato with all the wonderful toppings, a simple, baked potato. To accompany this potato was some watered down powder milk from her food storage. There was a time when this same cousin drove miles to my home to bring me a meal when my first son was born. The meal consisted of 6 homeade wheat rolls, 6 small baked potatoes and two oranges. In her humble way she was giving me her best, no doubt her widow's mite. When I purchased some groceries and invited my children to donate they did so and it became a family service project. An array of produce, bacon, eggs, diary products,sausage, pepperoni, two chickens and bags of whole grains (oats, wheat, and beans)filled our car. For a small moment I had the opportunity to be a miracle giver and see the light in the children's eyes and they recieved some things I am sure they rarely get, possibly never had.
Classic literature has a way of changing you. That is the entire point of reading a classic-it changes your character filling you with ambition to change and better the world around you. Maybe I can't help those Cambodians I read stories about with Alexis but I can help someone in my small corner of the world and in a small way Peace fills me.

To Be Human Is To Feel

As I have been studying things with Alexis before she goes I am amazed at the inhumanity that goes on in the world around us, most of which we don't know of. This book, When Broken Glass Floats, is about the killing fields that took place just 30 years ago in Cambodia. It is hauntingly similar to Hitler's madness just 35 years prior. It is a real tear jerker and a humbler. No matter how hard our circumstances, someone has got it harder. We have much to be thankful for and little do we American's know just how blessed we are. Even under the most dire circumstances, We have it so good. Why do these things happen? Just how does Satan get a hold of these people to commit such horror without feeling? It's as if they have surrendered their humanity and in so doing given up any feelings of mercy that come with it. It is amazing to me that even someone under those circumstances fights to survive. Why? Do they not know of the better after life and our Savior's amazing grace? How is that even though misery consumes them they have the will to live? Perhaps our spirits deep down know of the great privledge it is to be alive and live with a body, no matter the cost. Because to be human is to feel. We have been given much and how do we reach out to help those suffering and stop such Evil?Two things come into my mind. Spread the gospel and that light will follow and educate.

Let's Be Brave

This is one of my most favorite poems. We all experience sorrow in life. It is natural. But I find in this poem a reminder and it centers me.

Let's Be Brave

Let's be brave when the laughter dies
And the tears come into our troubled eyes,
Let's cling to the faith and the old belief
When the skies grow gray with the clouds of grief,
Let's bear the sorrow and hurt and pain
And wait till the laughter comes again.
Let's be brave when the trials come
And our hearts are sad and our lips are dumb,
Let's strengthen ourselves in the times of test
By whispering softly that God knows best;
Let us still believe, though we cannot know,
We shall learn sometimes it is better so.
Let's be brave when the joy departs,
Till peace shall come to our troubled hearts,
For the tears must fall and the rain come down
And each brow be pressed to the thorny crown;
Yet after the dark shall the sun arise,
So let's be brave when the laughter dies.
By Edgar A. Guest

And the Judges pick is.....

JESSICA!!!
During ASTA festival several children (usually around 200 ) that play the string instruments come and compete before judges and only a dozen or so are selected to play at an honors recital. It is a great opportunity to see how you are doing and have someone evaluate you. I was disappointed that because Alexis and MaKayla's teacher is in a different county than Cache I couldn't get anyone to call me back to figure out how to register them for it. In the past their teachers have been in Cache Valley and so registration was a snap. Formerly they have had the privlege of being selected however. So anyway, That left our little Jessica and we were gratefully honored. She played well tonight for the honors recital. Way to go little Jessica(the cellist)!

Orient-here she comes!

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Our oldest has the opportunity to go anywhere in the world with grandma and grandpa. She chose the orient-specifically Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and China. She doesn't know she is going yet, but I am thrilled for her and wish I could experience it with her. I am so grateful for the insightful grandparents she has that want to mentor her and are a part of her life. We really are blessed to have loving and caring grandparents on both sides. While I recognize this is a rare opportunity I am so thankful she can take it. Does anyone know any classic literature on culture or history she can read up on before she goes?

A Curious Woman

I recently purchased this book from Tasha Tudor. I am mainly interested in her art. She has the ability to capture the frolicking nature of children and simplicity of the past. I personally would love to be an artist and illustrate children's books. Her work is among my favorites. I think she would have been an interesting person to know. She retired to an early victorian lifestyle in her country cottage assuming all the early settlement tasks of baking, farming, milking, gardening and going so far as to always wear a dress of the period. She once said of women, "Why do women want to dress like men when they're fortunate enough to be women? Why lose our femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get much more accomplished by being charming than we would by flaunting around in pants and smoking. I am very fond of men. I think they're wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don't want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error. Things half seen are so much more mysterious and delightful. Remember the term "a neatly turned ankle"? Think of the trill that gentlemen used to get if they caught even a glimpse of one. Now women go around in their union suits. And what a multitude of sins you could cover up with a long skirt if you had piano legs." She prefered life simple and lived it to it's fullest adapting Henry David Thoreau's credo for her own, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
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While I enjoy all the modern convieniences, I can't help but think we loose something when we don't get back to the simplicity of life and things. For fun her family invented a religion called stillwater inspired by the Shakers. They had a big celebration on Midsummer's Eve. The entire point is to live without stress so in their devotionals and worship They would sit on the front porch in a rocker and listen to the liquid song of the hermit thrush that they might enjoy life more. She thought people were so jeezled up that they needed to take the time to just mediate and be still. There is so much wisdom in this. Hasn't our dear prophet asked us to simplify and set priorities. Life doesn't have to be about chauffering kids and the more we are home the more I feel peace and actually have the time to accomplish the things I need to.

My Newest Hero

I recently have had an unquenchable desire to study our founding fathers. Currently I don't know where this information I am obtaining will come in handy but I am enjoying the journey. I have not always been a history buff and was once counted among those who say,"history is in the past, why study it-who cares?" But as a homeschooler I understand the critical need of having a classical, well rounded education and that me leading the way is the only chance they have in developing a leadership education for themselves. As you can tell from my book shelf most of what is on there are books centered around the early American history. One must ask, "what makes this country so great anyway, how is it different?" How we went from being common farmers to claiming victory over the worlds strongest empire and eventually walking on the moon followed by becoming the most powerful/rich nation on earth in less than 200 years, is inconceivable. How George Washington, a simple farm boy with a meager education became captain, without pay and setting aside his personal desires and wishes led an army of starving, ragged, unpaid, illequipted farmers for 8 years to victory of a nation who dominated the world and never lost a war as of yet is nothing short of a miracle. The British had 2 million trained militia and America only a quarter of a million rusty and rugged farmers willing to fight for liberty. British wealth was 1000 times greater than America's; how did we win? Perhaps George Washington can account best, "We have...abundant reason to thank Providence for its many favorable interposition's in our behalf. It has at times been my only dependence, for all other resources seemed to have failed us. I was but the humble agent of favoring Heaven, whose benign interference was so often manifested in our behalf, and to whom the praise of victory alone is due." He went on to becoming the first president, against his own wishes. He opened the letter and tried to read it, but stumbled badly. he paused, then pulled from his pocket a pair of new spectacles, which only his closest aides had ever seen him wear. he fumbled to put them on, but seemed to have difficulty. Finally, he said simply, "Gentlemen, you must pardon me. I have grown gray in your service and now find myself growing blind." He also lost his teeth due to the harsh conditions and starvation he surrendered to during the war. Finally his hearing began to fail him. Truly this man was a grand example of liber and public virtue. In 1778 it didn't matter that he could not read or write well. He was trustworthy and of sound judgement and that is what mattered. That is what should matter. Anyone can get an education, but without character what are we? The more character an individual has the more he is capable of. In conclusion, I answer why we must study our history...It is who we are, it is our heritage and our inheritance. We must continue the greatness that our founding fathers possessed. As George Washington said, " Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness." Our freedoms/happiness depend upon our education. I have learned so much from this book about him and it is my goal to adapt the good qualities he possessd. I cannot fathom how somebody so good existed. How do we become that virtuous? He is one I hope to meet and converse with.

A dream realized

Today was a dream realized when all three of my girls played in Sacrament together. One cannot imagine the work that goes into a piece multiplied by 3 players and complicated by Timing. However, after a lot of hard work, practice and heavenly help they did a beautiful job. Jessica's cello teacher was kind enough to join us to even out the voice of the cello. Sorry it is not complete, my camera died. (this was taken in the foyer the night before we preformed.) They are playing the same song that is on my blog but because we could not find any written music for it Diane Austin (violin teacher) listened to the track and wrote the music for the two violins and Jessica's teacher wrote the cello part.

Our Love Story

I love the holidays, and it's fun to update blogging with each months new holiday. This month, because of Valentines I chose to focus on our love story. I love this song because it brings back so many memories for me. We were both so young, and the older I get the more I fatham just how frightening that really was. But I was blessed with a responsible, hardworking, great father and husband and honorable man in one package. I have been able to stay at home with my children our entire marriage and be the mother of my dreams, not because I am perfect but because I am simply here with them every day. And while he is in a transitional period,career wise, working 18 hours a day and we only see him on Sunday and sometimes Saturday, I am grateful for the commited man he is to me and his family. I know it is a means to an end and we are so excited to be entering the helicopter industry. I am also beginning to understand that the longer you are married, if your marriage is based on the principles of the gospel you become one. How neat is it to know I am sealed for eternity to my other half. We started out as just two kids, really, then before you know it, with a lot of work and years of bonding we are still together. With the high divorce rate it really is a wonder. Some people have asked me what made the difference with us and I don't really know how we beat the odds so young, other than two factors: Work and gospel principles. We applied both. I also am grasping onto just how fast life goes, and while most of our pictures are of our children there are a few of us that I compiled into this little slide show. I am excited to report that we are privleged and spoiled to have the opportunity to go on a meditteranian cruise in June. Of which I hope to add to our little portfolio of us.

Our Love Story

So I had this really great post and then my 2 year old shut the computer off. Thanks!! Till next time I have some time to make another one.

'Tis the season!

It is the season for families, friends and fun. I love the spirit of giving that changes everyone. In general, people seem to be a little more kind, forgiving and open to new friendships. I think a lot of it has to do with the spirit of Christ. One cannot remember him and forget to love their neighbor. It is magical and even enchanting how the world all over embraces the principles of love. And I can't help but think that the more we simplify during this precious season the more we can gain from it. It's the little things like cuddling up with your children to a classic movie, snuggled in a blanket. It's during such times that we sit around the table and read another chapter of a great book while sipping on homeade hot chocolate that the miracle of the season takes place. It happens when the door bell rings and another dear neighbor has dropped off some kind of gift and the children squeal with glee because someone remembered them. It's during those snowy days that you can sit around in a circle and cut homeade snowflakes to display that memories are formed. It's the simple things like taking a widow a plate of food, in my case, playing music for the neighbors or sharing homeade cookies that we contribute to the magic ot the season. Tis the season to refocus, reform and remember Him.

Our traditions are mostly centered around books

Christmas!

My first year to decorate our new staircase!

Our Christmas Home!

Halloween was so much fun. I found some things from around the house and a few ideas from Martha Stewart and we created the costumes. It is a lot of work, and one day I think they will have an inkling of what it takes to be a parent. But in the mean time we created another memory and that is what matters. From Youngest to oldest...Joseph is a black goat. Brett is a firefighter. Justin, who insisted on being a pumpkin got it. Jessica is the statue of liberty. MaKayla is a beehive (thanks Martha) Alexis is Medusa...she loves greek mythology.

Halloween

My dear mother-in-law took our little Jessica after her baptism for a few days. She likes to take the kids once a year for nearly a week to spend time with them and in my mind she mentors them. I am so thrilled by this as I find so much good and wisdom in her that she can pass down to my children. And I know that we as parents cannot do it all-we need extended family help. As we are young and still learning wisdom, our elders have so much of it already figured out to offer that I see them as a gold mine of knowledge. But what hit me the most was what my mother-in-law had to say about Jessica. Usually she is pretty honest and does a personality check on each of the kids while they are there. And quite honestly, she was nervous to take Jessica. (She has always been "the hard one") But upon returning she found so much good in her that me as a parent kind of knows is there, but we get caught up in the day and chaos of it to really pay attention to who are children are deep down. She had everything good to say about her and never paid any of my children so many wonderful compliments. My thoughts in sharing this are these; Why do we always find the fault in our children first. Why is that the first thing we notice and why does that seem to smother all the good? Jessica has so much good to offer as in my mother-in-laws words are, "there was never a more thoughtful, unselfish, gracious and helpful child-she was absolutely perfect." But in my day most of what I see is a little girl who is lost in the numbers of a big family. I am afraid all I have paid attention to is her lack of cooperation and tantrums (yes, at 8 years old). I am grateful for the insight and inspiration to find the good, focus on the good. I believe it is our job as parents to find the genius in our children and develop it. Parenthood is not just about feeding and cleaning them. It is about finding out who they are, their hopes and dreams and mentoring them through that so they can achieve their mission and purpose in life. It is my faith, hope and prayer that I can do this in all of my children. BIG to do list!!!

Perserverance

As I have watched my children each in the two year old stage and noticably my last one there now I have had something hit me. Children are determined. They don't give up, no matter how many times they fall when learning to walk, or crawl, roll over or even talk. They just keep going. When is it that most of us loose this quality of perserverance? One could only imagine what the world would be like if people maintained that courage and confidence that we all once owned. Where does it come from and why does it end? Just one of those things I hope to perserve in my children and adopt in myself.

I have had it hit me really hard lately how fast little ones grow. I am so thankful to be a mother. It has challenged me in ways I never imagined. Motherhood has taken me to a place that I can only believe is a small glimpse of my heavenly parents and the selfless life of our Savior Jesus Christ. And when times get tough and laundry, diapers, meals and cleaning don't ever seem to end-somewhere you forget all of that and all that is left are the memories. So it is my goal to make sure that I take the time to create them. Somehow, somewhere between the noise, chaos and drama there has got to be a sense of who I am and exactly what I am doing. There is an overwhelming responsibility placed on my shoulders and often I feel unequal to the task, but I have a vision for each of my children and I know that when I fall short the Savior will pick up the rest. As I recently heard a quote I have adapted the faith that the Lord does not give us a challenge just because of who we are but of who we may become.